Mama I’m In Love: Why Are We Afraid of Vulnerability?
Hiiii guys! This week we’re throwing ourselves into the topic of vulnerability and why the fuck we’re shamed for showing it.
Haiiii guys - I am so sorry for the delay of the newsletter. I am a true work in progress when it comes to making deadlines and sticking to them especially right now when my life doesn’t make sense but I have to keep moving full steam ahead because ya kn0w…capitalism lol but anyways
Almost two weeks now I was dealt a pretty heavy blow and decided to begin documenting a new chapter in my life that was terrifying and unexpected and while I was given really amazing feedback and humbled by the way people began showing up in the form of sending books off my wishlist or just sending encouraging texts, DMs and comments there were some who were less than on board with seeing me so openly document my life and the new beginnings as I am working towards the…which begged me to question, “why are we so afraid to show vulnerability?”
It’s a question I used to struggle answering because vulnerability was something I grew up being taught to hide, never let anyone know that your life is shaky and it was something I carried with me until I hit 30 and realized I am absolutely too damn old to care how people perceive me so here we are now…embracing all of my life changes and accepting every stage as it comes. I am understanding and accepting that every day wont be a good day, there will be days where laying in a ball, crying on the floor is happening but I will survive and ‘this too shall pass’.
So since we’re beginning to dive into Breana’s view on vulnerability why don’t I do what I know best and give you THREE book recommendations that perfectly capture vulnerability.
Wrath - Ella James
“No one’s held my hand since I was like six. No one’s touched me in a few years except nurses and a lot worse. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
My good god this book DECIMATED me…in a good way. We are introduced immediately to Ezra who is struggling and questioning his ‘why’ and Josh Miller who is struggling with his sexuality but wanting so badly to belive in love and the power of it. THIS BOOK really put me through the ringer emotionally and mentally but it also reminded me of the importance of vulnerability and how HONEST love can transform someone. There are some heavy trigger warnings - sexual abuse, suicidal ideation, homophobia, conversion therapy.
Canary — Tijan
This recommendation is a tad different than my normal. This tells the story of Raize and Girl (nah that’s really her name throughout most of the books…creative) and she is a “canary” who sounds off when shit doesn’t smell quite right. The entire story is actually a little heartbreaking when you get into their back stories but the vulnerability each character shows as they begin to experience love, pain, anger etc is why I really stuck around for that story. It was a 4🌟 read for me.
TW: violence, attempted sexual assault
Jesse’s Girl - Mona Merlin
Naur THIS book absolutely captivated me and I found it on a whim using kindle unlimited and loved it so much I ended up purchasing it. OOF, Jesse’s story is heartbreaking and yes I keep using that word but its the only way I can describe this masterpiece. There are triggering topics so be warned but I hope if you choose to pick it up you see how Jesse doesn’t feel worthy of love but he finally allows himself to be loved and show love.
TW: suicidal ideation, violence, blackmailing, dubcon, attempted sexual assault.
Whew, okay! Those are my big 3 recs for today and next weeks newsletter is already written so it will be on time! We’re deep diving into Gilmore girls and who is truly the villain of the show….why is it Rory?
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To my paid subscribers:
SHEEEEESH. What a fucking couple of weeeks! i have a personalized letter coming on Friday to talk about - a deeeeeep and therapeutic. Thank you for sticking with me and I promise from here on out we’re getting organized and sending content out on time!